An Introduction to Empathy Empathy is often considered the most ancient of the healing arts. Legends and myths abound with individuals who took upon their own shoulders the aches, pains and sins of others. Folklore around the world is rich with stories of those who could see through the eyes of others (including the eyes of animals). Most people have heard tales of individuals who, by touching another's ache or pain have healed it. Everyone is naturally empathic to some extent. Life conditions can heighten, close or set it to overdrive. Unfortunately, if we are unaware of our ability, it can create problems for us. With an empathic person, it is sometimes difficult to determine whether the feelings felt are one's own, or someone else's. Even if the feelings have been picked up from another, an empathic individual will experience them as if they are their own. This is the theory, and although it is not something I could consciously claim to have experienced, every individual is just that: an individual. Children are more naturally sensitive along empathic levels than adults. For most people, as we grow older, we build walls around us. We learn to become defensive. We have usually learned that such sensitivity in the modern world can make us vulnerable to others or we react to the expectations of others and keep quiet about things, which may be looked upon as making us 'different'. I for one spent my whole childhood thinking that everyone was the same as me, and was more than a little confused when I realized that they didn't understand what I did, and couldn't see what I could. After that, I learned to keep quiet about what I knew and saw. There are many examples of empathic responses in society and our personal lives. Advertisers use music and images to create empathic responses in those who listen to or watch their commercials. If we are not aware of this manipulation, we are at the mercy of it. For empathics, the stresses of people around us daily are more easily picked up and taken home with us. Those who have difficulty separating work and home often need to do work on controlling empathic responses. Empathy is a wonderful tool that can be used for diagnosis and insight into people, health and all of life. It is important, though, to develop it, strengthen it and control it. Empathic responses to life with no control or recognition of what is actually occurring will have you being tossed back and forth by whatever current in your life you encounter. If we learn to recognize it and use it we can read the currents and use them for our own benefit. How Empathy Occurs Empathy is thought to be based upon resonance. Resonance is a term most often associated with music. In music, it is the ability of a vibration to reach out and trigger a similar vibration in another body. This is most easily demonstrated through the use of a tuning fork and a piano. If you struck a tuning fork for middle C and felt along the piano wires, you would find that the middle C wire would be vibrating in response to the tuning fork. Every cell in our body is an energy resonator. It has the capacity to respond to any vibration or energy we encounter. In metaphysics we are taught that we are a microcosm of the universe. This means that we have all energies within us to some degree. Inherent within our physical and subtle energy fields are all the inherent energies of the universe. We have the capacity to resonate and respond to whatever we encounter. An empathic response or resonance occurs when two or more bodies have similar or identical frequencies. If an individual is angry and their anger stirs you up, you are experiencing an empathic resonance. Empathic responses usually occur in one of three ways: Free empathic response: This occurs in individuals who are very compatible on many levels. Couples who have been together a long time enjoy free empathic responses. One partner feels and experiences what the other does. There is an innate resonance. An important factor in this is the readiness and willingness for the individual to respond. Forced empathic response: Forced resonance occurs when two energy systems have different frequencies, and the stronger is transmitted to the other by force. This has both positive and negative aspects, and it does not necessarily have to be a physical force. A stronger force will move a weaker; an assertive force will move a submissive. Charismatic individuals are usually those who have a natural ability for stimulating empathic resonance in others. Their energy is so strong and so dynamic that they stimulate responses in others. Sometimes this is free, and sometimes forced. Atavistic empathic response: This is an uncontrolled empathic response. Some individuals are extremely empathic due to the circumstances of their lives. Stress, abuse and other forms of trauma can break down your defensive field. You are more susceptible to everyone and everything in life. All feelings - physical and otherwise - will play upon you and be experienced by you more intensely and usually in a more unbalanced manner. This is something I can relate to in a very extreme way. Everyone is different, but being an empathic to me means that I feel things more strongly than others. I cry at roadkill and can't even swat mosquitoes. Insults affect me in a big way, as do arguments, which I usually physically run and hide from.

Large numbers of people report having experienced dreams and visions of natural disasters, births, deaths, plane crashes and such, just before they occur. These are atavistic responses. I have never experienced any of these, but many empathics do on a daily basis. The atavistic response forces us to be more conscious of what we experience. It places greater responsibility on our shoulders for our responses to life. In many ways it serves to protect us, giving us feelings and impressions about new people, places and situations. Unfortunately, most either rationalize or ignore these atavistic responses. Empathic individuals need to pay attention to and honour what they feel. This is not always easy to do. We have not been trained to honour our intuitive aspects. Someone may appear to be okay, he or she may sound sane, but with an empathic individual, often it won't be until a real life meeting occurs that the true assessment comes. Many empathics find the shaking of the hand, or a brush up against will trigger the intuitive insights. This is not the case for me, but many empathics find that physical touch seems trigger the most intense intuitive flashes. Often the impressions received are correct and will eventually prove themselves out, even if we don't understand them initially. The more we honour and acknowledge those feelings, the stronger it becomes each time thereafter. Are You Empathic? 1. Are you easily persuaded or influenced by those around you? Empathic people are easily influenced and more susceptible to manipulation by others. They feel and experience what others project towards them, so extra caution should be used when dealing with sales-people and others who might manipulate. If you know that you are empathic, moving more slowly, not allowing yourself to be rushed and making sure you are completely comfortable will be more beneficial to you in the long run. 2. Do your moods swing with whatever crowd or environment you find yourself in? Empathic people are more easily drawn into the moods and energies of crowds. Often this is due to an expression of forced resonance. Empathic people usually have a more magnetic energy field about them. They tend to absorb and take on the energy, attitudes and behaviours of the larger group, individuals and even environment. Awareness of this will help you to be less susceptible to this kind of influence. 3. Do you ever find yourself 'up' for a gathering or social event, only to find shortly after arriving that you are feeling drained and tired? Empathic people must be a little more cautious in group settings. Because their energy is more magnetic, they can walk into a group and absorb the energy of whoever is present. Often this energy absorption occurs through the solar plexus. The individual picks up on all of the emotional and mental energy present, which immediately begins to weigh the individual down. 4. Do you find it difficult determining what you are feeling at any particular time? Because an empathic individual's mind and body is a living, breathing barometer for what the individual experiences, it can be difficult for the individual to determine whether the feelings are their own or have been picked up from someone else. 5. Do you frequently bring your work attitudes home with you or find yourself taking your problems into work? Is it difficult for you to separate work and home? Is it very difficult for you to be objective and separate issues and aspects of your life? If this is the case, then your empathic energies may need rebalancing. Even if it only occurs on rare occasions, it reflects a need to balance them. 6. Do you consider yourself, or do others consider you over-emotional? Do you cry easily? Empathic people are often over-emotional or hyper-sensitive. They respond more quickly and more strongly from an emotional base than other people. They laugh quickly and cry easily. They experience the full impact of whatever is being expressed around them. 7. Are you hyper-sensitive, taking everything more seriously and more personally than others? Things that might roll off the average individual's back are taken in and experienced fully by empathic people. 8. Are you uncomfortable with other people touching you? Most empathic people can be placed in one of two categories, with most falling into the second. In the first are individuals who are the touchy-feely kind. They enjoy touching and being touched for the most part. Usually a part of them realizes also that through touch they are able to connect more truly with those they touch. The second category is comprised of individuals who dislike being touched. They are so sensitive, that it is very uncomfortable to have individuals touch them, even with something as simple as a handshake. 9. Are you, or were you, very shy and introverted while growing up? Most introverted and shy people are empathic. For may of them, this is a means of self-protection. On a subconscious level, they recognize that they can be affected easily by those they are around. They recognize that new people may have an energy that is unfamiliar and will be experienced strongly.

Hesitancy to relate reflects this, and it is important to honour this. Others don't always know what is best for us, regardless of intention. If we don't honour this, we never learn to develop and honour our own sense of self-esteem and intuition. Unfortunately we live in a society that is intolerant of such behaviour. Parents and peers alike often push children and friends into situations where they have to relate on some level. There is even a kind of stigma attached to being shy. In most cases, if the individuals are left alone, they will develop their own way of handling themselves more comfortably in social situations. 10. Do you have a tendency to take on other people's problems, aches pains, battles, worries etc, whether asked to or not? Often empathic people have to be careful about allowing themselves to be placed in such situations where others unload problems and such on them constantly. How often have you felt drained or sucked dry after speaking with someone - even if only on the phone? Controlling and Protecting Empathic Responses Empathy is one of the most difficult abilities to control. It can be very confusing in that the individual is so easily influenced by others that discernment of one's true feelings can become difficult. If you are unaware of how outside forces affect you, your own energy system can become weakened. These weaknesses may manifest as actual physical illnesses or as mental or emotional imbalances. Most beneficial for this are general positive health practices. Proper diet, exercise and fresh air are essential. The Natural Way: Fresh air and sunlight is cleansing and strengthening to your energies. Spending regular time outside in the fresh air is balancing and healing. It will help you stay grounded and be less sensitive. Use Cleansing Exercises: Every day when you shower and bathe, see it not just as a physical cleansing, but a washing off of the connections you have established in the course of the day. Remember: every time you interact with another, there is an exchange of energy. For empathic people, a bath or shower at the end of the day will be most essential to your overall health. It will help rid you of the debris you have accumulated throughout the day. It will help you discern what are your feelings and what aren't. Learn to Disconnect from Others: It is most essential for empathic people to learn to disconnect from others. Ideally this should be done immediately upon leaving a place or leaving the company of others. You may find it helps to wash your hands several times a day. Empathics often connect strongly through physical contact, and while this is not the case for me, you may well find it to be of benefit. Visualize yourself disconnecting from others you encounter throughout the day, either as each encounter ends, or at the end of the day, whichever is most convenient. The best way to do this is to visualize their connection to you in a physical way. There are several areas in the body where the energy exchange is thought to occur, and it seems to vary between individuals. I recommend visualizing the energy in whichever way seems most real and most appropriate to you, see it flowing either as fluid, a thread or some such. Then see yourself severing this flow of energy, either with a giant pair of ethereal scissors, a knife, sword or any method you feel comfortable with. Cut the flow of energy to end the energy transfer. There are also more physical ways to protect yourself. Crossing your feet at the ankles is a simple yet effective method of ceasing energy flow when in the sitting position. You can also bring your fingertips together, to stop the energy flow from your hands; energy which you can usually feel if you hold your fingertips close together, without them touching. Try these methods when you are on the phone to someone who normally prattles on forever and try variations to see which method seems to work best for you. Try not to sit or stand directly facing people who usually manage to influence you strongly. You can also fold your arms across your solar plexus - you know how comfortable that seems to be when you are in uncomfortable situations - and this protects the energy flow from there. Most importantly, be aware of your aura as a shield. It is also your psychological personal space, upon which so much importance is placed, violations of which can cause serious upset. The most important things to remember are, to remember to sever energy connections at some point during the day and to perform some kind of cleansing. Either use variations upon the examples I have given, make up your own or use one you found in a book. Remember that you are an individual and must therefore tailor it to your own personal needs. Just because it works for someone similar to you doesn't mean it will work for you. Do what feels appropriate and effective, but most of all what you feel comfortable with. There is no point having a complex two-hour cleansing ritual if you only have a spare half hour every day. Do what is right for you. You need only to be true to yourself. You need not justify any actions to anyone. Remember that if you forget everything else I've told you!